Cam Jansen’s Doppelganger

One of my favorite childhood books involved a character named Cam Jansen, who had a photographic memory. She would say “*click*” out loud, and she would record the scene in front of her with her amazing mind. I would say that Cam is one of my role models, along with Maniac Magee and Encyclopedia Brown (The Boxcar Children were too transient and I had a hard time relating to their family life. how did they never get reported to family services anyway?). Today was one of those days where I wish I could print out these photographic memories. I can’t, so all I have to show you is my words.
While riding my bike to the metro this morning, I came upon a truck that ran in to a tree branch. The trees lining the streets in D.C. sometimes hang over and arch over the roadway. This particular tree had branches that basically reached out like arms and ripped off the top of the truck. The funny thing (nobody was injured, so we can all laugh) is that this was a snack truck, and the tree had bags of chips and pretzels and sodas littered all over its branches as a result of the wreck. It literally looked as though these things grew on trees. As if Fritos were fruit…. Pepsi pinecones… I laughed my entire way to work. Easily one of the funniest real life still images I’ve seen in my life.
Today happened to be my first day canvassing completely by myself. I went door to door in a neighborhood on the Potomac in Alexandria. I either got a door quickly shut in my face with the words “Wrong house. We’re Republican.” Or I was offered lemonade, ice-cold water, or leftover lasagna.
One man promised to contribute to the DNC under one condition. I had to agree to a practical joke. He told me that he would give me a check, only if I went just down the street and gave the shpiel to Congressman Bob Livingston (a man who was once in the running for Majority Leader… until…). I agreed to this informal contract and went just down the street to the driveway with the Mercedes with the BC ‘04 stickers.
“Hi Sir. My name is Mark, I’m with the DNC…”
“Mark, it’s Dark. I’m a Republican. Good night”.
I think he cracked a smile…
The highlight of the day was a first grader who ran upstairs while I was talking to his father, and came back down with some of the contents of his piggy bank. He wished me luck getting a new president and handed me various coinage. I told him to try and pretend he was 18 this November and sneak in to the polls.
The lowlight of the day was when a dude went to go get his checkbook and left his German shepherd to keep me company. While he was gone, the German shepherd started nuzzling my general crotch area with his snotty nose. When the guy came back to the porch, I was fending off his dog from my crotch, which had a gigantic wet spot.
I am the face of the DNC.