Buenos Dias, It’s Bird Poop Too

Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop?
Answer: That is bird poop, too.
While riding on the metro back from work today…err… tomorrow… whatever, it was past midnight, I spotted a guy laughing out loud while he was reading a book. Sure enough, it was Mr. Vonnegut. While I was getting off at my stop, I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is?”
He just looked at me real weird and said, “Excuse me?”
I said, “Keep reading and you’ll figure out soon enough”.
I really can’t wait till that dude gets to page 165 in “Timequake”. I hope he remembers me.
Speaking of remembering people…
I went to jewish summer camp when I was 13. There was a girl there named Rachel. It turns out Rachel works in my office.
Today, I go up to her and say:
“Hey Rachel, you went to jew camp when you were younger”
“Umm.. yeeh.”
“Hi, I’m Mark Pike. We almost hooked up behind cabin 12.”
*jumping and yelling and hugs*
I still haven’t figured out if I said that last part about the cabin 12 out loud. Probably not.
I spoke a lot of Spanish out loud today though. The entire neighborhood I canvassed in Herndon was pretty much hispanic. They didn’t train us for this stuff. In fact, I had to dig deep into my high school repetoire for the government vocab words. I managed to do alright and had a lot of interesting political discussions. At least, I think I did. Knowing how rusty my spanish is, I probably said things like, “My name was Mark. I am Democrat. Do not support the movie Casablanca and in the meantime take out your trash in November”.
And, I think I’ll end this evening with an exchange I had with another dude today. He said:
“I saw Farenheit 9/11 and all that stuff, and I dunno man. I just don’t think mankind is the answer. We need God.”
“I hear you dude. I don’t think you can write in God’s name on the ballot though. In the meantime, do you think you could just vote for Kerry?”
That, is bird poop too.
….
Finally, a running tally I am starting today:
Women Who Answer The Door Sans Pants: 1
Unemployed People Who Sold Their Ex-Wifes Jewelry and Contributed to the Campaign: 1