Malice in Wonderland

Tomorrow morning I am getting paid to wear a bunny rabbit costume and play hide-n-seek with strangers in Georgetown as part of a massive scavenger hunt. Also, I am getting paid to subpoena a woman at her office tomorrow morning. Do you see where this is going?
I had some difficulty entering the woman’s office building today. The security guard asked me to sign in as a visitor, but I pretended like I didn’t hear her and walked right into the elevator. This particular woman has been avoiding a subpoena, so it’s my job to try and slip into her office and hand her the envelope. Today, I failed, but I think I might try a different approach tomorrow.
A singing bunny telegram? Unstoppable. It’s like the trojan horse of the subpoena world.
I also interviewed for a cocktail serving position today at a lounge that has a mural of Magritte, as if the Alice in Wonderland bunny parallels in my life were not enough surrealism for my life… After asking me to come all the way in to the lounge for an interview, after seeing my resume and cover letter, the manager asked me if I had “any experience with cocktails?” I do not. I tried to sidestep the question by talking about my “experience working in a bakery” (3 days) and working as a food delivery guy in college. It didn’t work. She said, “Look. We need somebody with at least 2 years of experience serving cocktails. If you don’t have it, this won’t work. So do you have experience with cocktails?” I put on a charming grin and said, “Well, I have some experience drinking them. Does that count?” Apparently it doesn’t. Maybe I’ll show up there in a bunny costume too tomorrow, just to make the patrons feel like they’re hallucinating.