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Entries from April 2005

Blelvis Lives

April 30th, 2005 · 1 Comment

Blelvis lives.
I know this because I saw him— again.
My first Blelvis sighting was this past autumn, and I hadn’t seen him since. I was worried. Had Blelvis left the building, forever?
Who is Blelvis, you might ask? Blelvis is “the black Elvis”, a street entertainer who knows all 1,112 song in the Elvis catalog and will [...]

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Tags: Stuff

I’m on Hold…

April 29th, 2005 · 2 Comments

“We appreciate your patience. Please do not hang up… The next available representative will assist you as soon as possible.”
It’s Friday afternoon, and I am pretty sure the next available IRS representative won’t be available until Monday morning, but I am terrified of hanging up because of the calming and controlling automated voice. If I [...]

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Tags: Stuff

Binomial Nomenclature

April 28th, 2005 · No Comments

Samuel Clemens, who’s pseudonym Mark Twain was an exclamation of a river measurement, is one of my favorite authors. Kurt Vonnegut is another favorite, along with his sci-fi alias alter-ego Mr. Kilgore Trout. If I ever need one, I would like to think that my pen name could be the same as my real name: [...]

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Tags: Stuff

Litmus Tests

April 26th, 2005 · 1 Comment

CLICK for Slideshow.
Requires Quicktime…
The photographs…are a litmus test of our landscape. The reds and blues emerging on Polaroid pictures, revealing acids and bases. Do we live in a (ph)-balanced landscape? Light surveys the land, and the chemicals collide inside the technology. The results are returned within a minute in a formal white-bordered report….
Taken From April [...]

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Tags: Stuff

Root, Root, Root…

April 19th, 2005 · 1 Comment

DC’s Baseball team had not lost at home in nearly 34 years, since their 1971 forfeit to the Yankees. That is, of course, until I went and saw a game.
This is an index of every player’s “at-bat” music in the major leagues. It’s a little outdated (2004). Obviously, most the players don’t play 50 Cent’s [...]

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Tags: Stuff

April Oysters bring Aurgust Parasites

April 15th, 2005 · 1 Comment

I was born in Dallas, Texas. We moved away when I was just 1 year old and I don’t remember a thing about Texas. When I was younger, I used to tell people I was born on a ranch and that I was surrounded by cowboys and cowgirls. That’s all I knew about Texas from [...]

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Tags: Stuff

No Mo’ LOMO

April 13th, 2005 · 3 Comments

In case you were wondering where the title Cam Jansen’s Protégé came from:
I wrote this in August 2004…
“One of my favorite childhood books involved a character named Cam Jansen, who had a photographic memory. She would say “*click*” out loud, and she would record the scene in front of her with her amazing mind. I [...]

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Tags: Stuff

Wizard of I.D.

April 12th, 2005 · No Comments

As a weekend bouncer at a club, I thought I’d dedicate this post to the fake ID.
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In high school, my buddy Gerard once tried to buy cigarettes using a fake ID, just for fun. He drew a stick figure interpretation of himself on an index card, wrote his birthday in the upper corner and put [...]

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Tags: Stuff

Dear Admissions Committee:

April 7th, 2005 · 1 Comment

Dear Admissions Committee:
I recently received your letter of rejection for admittance in to the School of Law, and I was relieved to learn that you did not find me to be a qualified applicant. I am actually quite used to rejection. You should have seen me last night! Apparently cute girls only go for guys [...]

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Tags: Stuff

The World Bank Cafeteria

April 5th, 2005 · 2 Comments

“The World Bank Group’s mission is to fight poverty and improve the living standards of people in the developing world.”
Their other mission is to consistently have a weird looking leader with the prefix of Wolf (Wolfensohn& Wolfowitz).
My mission today was to deliver a subpoena at the World Bank, and then meet a friend of a [...]

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Tags: Stuff


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