Arachnophobia?

On my first day after my 23rd trip around the sun, I dressed up as Spiderman and roamed the streets of Georgetown. People were searching for me, once again, as a planted actor in an urban scavenger hunt. It’s like Where’s Waldo?, but in real life.
In my best Peter Parker impersonation, I put on the adult pajama/costume suit in the second floor of a Starbucks. I think I saw a man snort frappucino out of his nose when he saw my transformation from nerdy bespectacled hipster to nerdy costumed stranger.


“With great power comes great responsibility.”-Spiderman
“With adult costumewear comes embarrassing wedgies and stares.”- Mark Pike
I walked confidently down the street, waving to young children who idolized me. Little did they know, I was pimping myself out for 2 hours and was not in any way interested in saving people from any sort of large mechanical octopus. I felt somewhat guilty, like I was living a lie. But all of these emotions were quickly forgotten when Team 1 spotted me and began chasing me down a bustling M Street. I dodged innocent onlookers and pretended to climb walls as 4 middle-aged corporate scavenger hunters yelled “Somebody, Stop Spiderman!”. The civilians either dropped their jaws in shock, or peed their pants and laughed hysterically. The adrenaline rush gave me the false confidence that I actually could climb a building, and I was grabbed by Team 1 while clutching a brick wall. They got a token, and went on their way to complete the next mission.
This scenario played itself out repeatedly throughout the afternoon. I’d be walking down the street, waving to strangers and trying to just fit in. I’d go into local establishments, and ask them their prices for Spiderman paraphernalia. I’d take a picture with a group of elementary school children, giving the good ole Spidey thumbs up, and telling them to “Drink Milk, Stay in School, and Don’t Play with Spiders”. They’d give me a high five and treat me like a hero. Then out of nowhere, an overweight corporate scavenger hunter’d chase me down an alley.
I highly recommend wearing superhero costumes in major metropolitan areas. It makes you feel important. It makes you feel like a somebody. And if you happen to be a part of a scavenger hunt, it makes you feel wanted.