I went on a date to the zoo the other day. I thought it would be somewhat romantic to witness these majestic creatures, in captivity, humping each other and throwing their fecal matter at families on their summer vacations.
As we walked towards the entrance of the zoo, I asked her if she had ever heard [...]

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If Yankee Stadium is a cathedral, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” is the Lord’s prayer.
My baseball bar mitzvah was in 1987. My family and I made our first mecca to the Bronx. My Dad and I bought matching hats and t-shirts.
Last weekend, I made my annual trip to see the Yanks play. It [...]

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I’ve been having weird dreams lately.
I can’t figure it out. I think my new air-conditioner is disrupting my sleep cycles when it violently shakes in the middle of the night and makes noises that sound reminiscent of German industrial punk rock. Either that, or my roommate is putting peyote in my pasta.
The first dream was [...]

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Modern heroes, they make no more statues for you. Stories suffice.
The Chinatown Express “Dragon Coach” departs from 1250 Broadway, which isn’t so much a physical address as much as it’s just the bus stopping in the middle of a busy Manhattan street on its way to Washington, DC. The entire operation can best be described [...]

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For Mari’s Birthday gift, I decided to take this old piece of junk phone that had been sitting in her backyard and turn it in to a neato Phobile (aka the Phokia).

Here’s a picture of Mari on her Bday conducting business from a DC park bench. Everybody looked at her red phobile, green with envy.

Clearly, [...]

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When I was asked to be on a panel at the Urban Institute to discuss my career path with college kids, I laughed at the extreme irony and then scrolled to the bottom of the email invitation to see if it was a practical joke. It was not.
In order to prepare for the talk, I [...]

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How would you describe her?
Imagine if James Brown and Missy Elliott had a lovechild that was raised by Mary Poppins’ leftist radical stepsister from Sri Lanka, and she’s bioluminescent. That would be M.I.A.
What?
Ummm. Yeh. Nevermind. Just come to the concert with me, it’ll be amazing.

see the video for “Galang”
Post show comments…
“She was like a frickin’ [...]

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There are certain clothing purchases which act as major landmarks in one’s lifetime. The Superman pajamas. The bright red sweater that is only to be worn on school picture day. The Bar Mitzvah suit that is intentionally 2 sizes too big so it will still fit when you finally get your braces off and your [...]

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So I won some video game contest at a recent Washington Nationals game and now I only have to beat like 10 more dudes to win a free trip to the All-Star Game. This is the most exciting thing since my co-ed sand soccer team won the North American Sand Soccer Championship (Go Flying Wombats!).
My [...]

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Mt. Pleasant Day

Dr. Low Rider (alternatively titled: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Yankees). Look at the expressions on everybody’s face. Look at that bike!
Also… a little ride in front of Heller’s

***click pics to enlarge

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