Take Me Out

If Yankee Stadium is a cathedral, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” is the Lord’s prayer.

My baseball bar mitzvah was in 1987. My family and I made our first mecca to the Bronx. My Dad and I bought matching hats and t-shirts.

Last weekend, I made my annual trip to see the Yanks play. It was the first time the Cubs had played in Yankee Stadium since 1930. There were four of us, all good buddies from freshman year in college. One works in the stock market, one is employed by the Cubs, the other is employed by the Chicago Bulls (he makes baskets). The buddy who works for the Cubs organization now (responsible for putting on their legendary 7th inning stretch festivities) got us tickets in the pews of the upper upper deck of Yankee stadium.

The New York air is fresher at that elevation, the ball has a more heavenly trajectory. Without shade, beer is our all-American macho parasol.

Imaginary Friend: You having fun at the game?

Mark: Definitely, I love baseball.

IF: Do you want another beer?

Mark: Well, I believe in the soul. The earlobe. The navel. Age-related macular degeneration. Season ending Tommy John surgery. Lactose intolerance. Whiskey. That the novels of Kurt Vonnegut could be suitably adapted in to a real-life religion, but nothing weird like L. Ron Hubbard. I believe Theodore John Kaczynski, Ph.D. acted alone- very alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment banning Interleague play and Stuart Scott. I believe in the sweet spot, fortune cookies, late night television including HBO and ‘Skinemax’, halfway celebrating half-birthdays and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days… at least.

IF: Dude, I was just asking if you wanted another beer.

Mark: Oh, yeh. Sure. Sorry, I thought you asked me what I believe in.

IF: Whatever you say, Crash Davis.

Last night, I watched the Nationals beat the Toronto Blue Jays from the upper upper deck. There’s something therapeutic about walking on peanut shells. There’s something life-affirming about doing the wave with 40,000 of your closest friends. I believe in baseball, and a bunch of other stuff.

Anybody want to go to Camden Yards on Monday or RFK on Wednesday?