Things I Own That Have Broken (and Their Current Repair/Disrepair Status Displayed Parenthetically)

Posted: August 27th, 2005 | Author: themarkpike | Filed under: Stuff |

Playstation 2 Video Game System (negotiating repair with anonymous 14 year old via e-mail)

LOMO Soviet-Era Toy Camera (sitting on shelf, planning bolshevik revolution with disgruntled appliances)

Decorative Mirror (remains shattered underneath bed, which might explain my current love life or lack thereof)

Heart (ibid)

Oven Knob (determined that 400 degrees is actually the OFF position and vice versa)

Jumpshot (3 point range is out of the question. medium range, ok)

1 Anonymous said at 10:11 pm on August 28th, 2005:
sorry about the broken things (especially the heart part - know how that feels…). miss seeing you around have a good time at your “real job”.” - maddy
2 themarkpike said at 11:41 am on August 29th, 2005:
i just put in the word “heart” for poetic purposes. also, i like using the word “ibid”. no worries. i’m most upset about the playstation, which was the catalyst for the list. also, my recent “discovery” of McSweeney’s lists made me want to practice. my goal is to get one published in the next month.
take care Maddy.
3 erin said at 12:01 pm on August 29th, 2005:
if the negotiations with the 14-year old don’t work out, let me know. I am marginally successful at fixing PS2s and might be able to help via email (as long as it says “disc read error”…i can’t do anything about broken trays, etc.).

in addition to “ibid,” “[sic]” is also fun to use.
4 themarkpike said at 12:09 pm on August 29th, 2005:
the 14 year old told me i was being irrational when i tried to haggle him for 10 bucks. i walked away from the deal.
disc read error indeed! sweet diagnosis, nancy drew! i’ll email you for more instructions later. this message will self-destruct, as will something else i own in the near future. toaster? ipod? musical bottle opener?

Mark Pike