A Thanksgiving speech, delivered (fictionally) to a nationwide television audience after receiving the Norman Rockwell Award for Awesomeness 2005:
Oh man. WOW! This is such a surprise. I just wanted to say what I’m thanful for, listed with no relation to order of importance. Ummm. Where do I even start?
Modern medicine, mid-century modern furniture, avocados, family, [...]

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My Half-Birthday was this weekend.
No big deal.
I recently found out that I finally took over the #1 ranking on Google search: Mark Pike.
Big deal.
Also, I’m ranked #3 when you search: embarrassing wedgies.
Huge deal.
I spent the weekend in NYC. Somehow, I have now returned to find myself writing like Larry King. It’s fun. You should try [...]

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We used to leave the house with an Audobon book, a backpack, and binoculars. My Dad and I would set out in his blue Peugeot to see how many birds we could spot in an afternoon. Seagulls were easy enough. Crows. Mergansers! Pileated woodpeckers. And of course, great blue herons. Sometimes we’d watch from behind [...]

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This is a fake letter I wrote on the NFL Commissioner’s behalf in response to a real letter Ralph Nader wrote. It does not necessarily reflect how I personally feel.
Dear Messr. Nader,
Thank you so much for your letter. We hadn’t heard from you in a while. In fact, I think the last time you [...]

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For those of you who are fans of MTV’s “Pimp My Ride” (my Dad is a huge advocate), I thought you might enjoy this little piece I helped out with for the ThinkProgress crew.
Pimp My Congressional Office
(move your mouse over the picture, and turn your speaker system up.)

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If you know me, you know I’m intolerant of lactose. Sometimes it makes things a little complicated at restaurants. For some reason, I think there are some people who are intolerant of those that are lactose intolerant. It happens almost on a dairy…err.. daily basis.
Today I went to Loeb’s Deli for lunch. It’s right by [...]

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Guerilla art. I like it a lot. No, I’m not talking about Koko doing finger paintings, though that is admittedly pretty sweet too. I’m talking about artists reclaiming public space and making it interesting.
There was BORF here in DC tagging buildings for a while, till he got busted. We can have a discussion about the [...]

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Dear Photobooth Lovers,
I am writing to inform you that the Duke Photobooth is available for sale.
It is a Model 21 (single entry) Refurbished Studio machine. We purchased the booth from Photo-Me USA in 2004. It was reconditioned just for us, and all parts are in working order. It is an adorable anachronistic booth that produces [...]

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A few months ago I had the audacity to e-mail every Mark Pike that I could locate through Google, and challenge them to a Google ranking contest. Well, I didn’t really hear back from anybody, which I interpreted as an admission of defeat and proof positive that I am the numero uno “Mark Pike”. I’m [...]

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