Cheeseburger Lost in Paradise
Posted: November 8th, 2005 | Author: themarkpike | Filed under: Stuff |
If you know me, you know I’m intolerant of lactose. Sometimes it makes things a little complicated at restaurants. For some reason, I think there are some people who are intolerant of those that are lactose intolerant. It happens almost on a dairy…err.. daily basis.
Today I went to Loeb’s Deli for lunch. It’s right by the White House but you feel like you’re in Manhattan. They had a cheeseburger/ fries/ soda lunch deal for around $6 bucks called the “Veteran’s Day Special”, or something to that effect. I asked for a hamburger/ fries/ soda, without feeling the need to describe my dietary needs to the short-order chef.
When the cashier rang me up, he charged me around $8 U.S. Dollars. Woah. I asked him what was up, that I had ordered the “Veteran’s Day Special”. When the words came out of my mouth, I felt like I was dishonoring those that had served before me with my tiny diner conflict. It was too late to just surrender to the unfortunate circumstances, and the Larry David sequence of events began to unwind.
“You got everything a la carte,” he said definitively. I looked at him a little crooked and said, “because I didn’t get fromage on le Big Mac, everything is a la carte?”
He didn’t think I was funny, nor was I trying to be. I had beef. “Look. You got a hamburger. The special is with the cheeseburger and they put everything on one plate for you. It’s cheaper that way. You should’ve gotten that.” I rolled my eyes and he asked if I needed to see the manager. I didn’t. I just didn’t want any cheese on my burger and I thought their pricing structure was unfair. That’s all. Why am I the one being difficult? I can’t help it.
Everybody in line was looking at me funny, like I was the one causing trouble, which slightly annoyed me. I announce, “Please tell me somebody here has seen that SNL skit? The cheeseburger Belushi one? Anybody?” Nobody answered.
I just wanted to get the hell out of there at that point. I handed him my Visa, since I only had $7 dollars cash.
“Sorry. We don’t take Visa. Cash only.”
So what did you do? How did you pay? Did he give in? Or did you have to go to that grimy ATM they have there. Ahh, I don’t miss Loeb’s all that much. I remember a friend finding a hair in his burger once there. Will you go back? So many questions. Give me some answers, Pike. Oh, and thanks for that video/art thing. That was very cool.
JJ
The end of the story is that I hit up my buddy for a couple of dollars. I wish the ending of this vignette was a bit more dramatic, but I was hungry and was in no mood to get into a huge argument with the Loeb dynasty.
The video/art thingy is super dope. Yo. Check out thinkprogress today too:
http://thinkprogress.org/2005/11/09/pimp-my-congressional-office/
This is random, I accidentally clicked on see next blog by my friend’s and wound up on yours.
Kickass pictures mate,
I’m lactose intolerant, actually allergic to ridiculous things that make dining out a challenge.
I’ve actually always been a rebel - ordering things I know I can’t have. But when gummi bears are so damn squishy and good, who wouldn’t take mind numbing cramps and nausua, I ask you!
Peas out.
p.s. Canadian starbucks carries lactose free milk, but in the US you haveta use soy - what’s up with that?
Okay, that’s it. I’m seriously considering starting an online web community for folks who are lactose intolerant.
Gummi bears have lactose in them!? This was not known.
Also, I’m moving to Canada.
Ah why you should move to Canada… that would involve a whole new dialogue.
Where in Canada?