The Wizniz

Posted on Craigslist yesterday…

WANTED Wizards vs. Bucks - $1

Does anybody have an extra ticket for tonight’s must-win game? A free one would be greatly appreciated, but I can hook you up with $20 and a super-sweet high-five (negotiable). I’d love to have the opportunity to cheer on the Wizards, and sarcastically yell “nice shot” at Andrew Bogut.

I got my wish under face value for a 400 level nosebleeder. It was “fan appreciation night”, and I appreciated every minute of it. I especially appreciated it when my buddy’s dad hooked it up with some nice plush lower level seating and we got close enough to shout the following things at Andrew Bogut, who we decided is an angsty pubescent emo blogger stuck in the body of an Australian-Eastern-European with a pituitary disorder.

• Hey Bogut, go listen to some Dashboard Confessional!
• Andrew, don’t update your MySpace while the ball is in play!
• Play Basketball, not Bright Eyes.
• Hit me up on Facebook, after you’re done vanity google searching yourself, and missing those free throws.
• Andrew likes Trent Reznor (after a flagrant foul)

The Wizards won, thanks to Gilbert Arenas’ 43 points (and our vociferous support). We bought playoff tickets. I’ve got to go think of some obscure things to yell at our next opponent.