I got a fish. His name is Ghostface.

Well, his scientific name is betta splendens and his street name is Siamese fighting fish. But since he’s my new pet, I get to call him whatever I want. Ghostface it is.

It was an impulse purchase, really. I will never tell Ghostface this, and since the Wikipedia article I’m referencing makes no mention of bettas having developed cognitive reasoning, I’m hoping he doesn’t figure it out for himself. We’re a family now. That’s all that matters.

I have done plenty of research now that I’ve got Ghostface in my life. I’ve read all about his folks, the anabantoids. These fish can breathe atmospheric air because they have something called a “labyrinth” organ (which, shockingly, has nothing to do with that David Bowie movie of the same name). What I’m really hoping is that I can gradually train the fish so that it needs no air whatsoever. Eventually, I can take Ghostface for walks and then this fish will need a bicycle.

Or, maybe Ghostface will show me how to grow gills so I can survive during the impending global warming apocalypse like Kevin Costner did in Waterworld? I’ll go ask him. Having a pet sure beats talking to yourself.

Betta Testing the Waters on Vimeo