Avoid Cherry Tomatoes and Other Tips

I brush my teeth before important phone calls. Usually it’s because I am asking somebody out on a date and for some reason I feel like my minty fresh breath will have a pleasant olfactory effect over the smellophone. However, I have recently been taking this quirk to a whole other level. Not only have I been flossing, but I’ve also been putting on a tie. Why? Because I’ve been doing job interviews over the phone. I’m fairly superstitious.

The Office of Career Services at my school tells us to always be prepared, and for some reason I feel like dressing up puts me in the zone. What if the folks I’m interviewing with tell me to jump in my car immediately and begin the job today? And I’m pretty sure my phone doesn’t have video capabilities, but what if it does and they’re watching me? You never know, so you should always dress the part.

In the spirit of preparedness, I attended the Office of Career Services “Smart Manners Are Smart Business” dinner last evening at the historic Williamsburg Inn. The sommelier, chief concierge, and many other members of the fine restaurant’s staff showed us the proper protocol for an engagement at such an establishment. Imagine a scene from Borat, but replace Borat with a group of overachieving ex-high school vice presidents (current law school students). It was fantastic!

We learned which utensils to use for each course, but they unfortunately couldn’t explain to me why fine dining establishments haven’t caught on to the growing trend of replacing all the superfluous instruments with the utilitarian spork. We also learned that when you accidentally drop something on the ground, you should leave it there and expect somebody else to pick it up. This seems counterintuitive at a fine dining establishment, where you would think that the 5 second rule would be extended to at least 10 seconds because of the exemplary cleanliness of such places. You’d be wrong. Kick the roll under the table or signal to your server to pick it up.

Other random things we learned:

• Nametags go on the right side, 4 inches below your shoulder.
• If you have sweaty palms, sneakily wipe your hand off on your pants before shaking somebody’s hand.
• It’s never appropriate to do a fist bump as a replacement for a handshake.
• Avoid cherry tomatoes
• Don’t ask for doggie bag at an interview (the person interviewing you might be a cat person?)
• Disclose your food allergies quietly and confidently to a server. It is not a sign of weakness. Especially lactose intolerance.
• Place your utensils at 10:20 when you’re finished. If you can only tell time on a digital watch, you’re so screwed.